Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
