he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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