Don't you send me to vm
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
did i just pee glitter
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
