apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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