When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
