Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
