Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's Friday. Sex?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Boobs are out for the taking
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
