Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
