All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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