Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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