I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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