end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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