I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
