Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He better not be in your backpack
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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