you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize