He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
