I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
