It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
