you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
