Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
