i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
