it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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