a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
