guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
