I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
