Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
