More tranny stories later!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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