u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
