we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
