I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
