That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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