You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
