I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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