Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
