We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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