I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Randomize
