dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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