Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
