What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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