Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
