No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
do nipples grow back?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
