I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
