The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
NoShamevember. You game?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
