i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
