nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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