After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
