I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
