I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
