how can u be prego again
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
