when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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