There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
