): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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