Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
