I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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