Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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