She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize