i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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