I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
