3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
