Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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