i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
