Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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