Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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